a pause for something beautiful

Anchorman v. 300

Freaks and Geeks

The freaks of "Freaks and Geeks" (FYI--the best TV show maybe ever made) seems to have moved on to bigger and better things. Seth Rogen will be featured in "Knocked Up" which comes out this week, Jason Segal is a writer and one "How I Met Your Mother", Linda Cardellini and Busy Phillips are on ER, James Franco has been in "Spiderman 2".But whatever became of the geeks? John Francis Daley was "Weir" in the original, and gets his first starring role in the upcoming movie 5-25-77. Surprisingly, he plays a geek.

He's dead on this time...

I've never been a huge Michael Moore fan. His documentaries, while entertaining, fall flat in the fact department a lot of times.

However, I have personal experience that the health care industry in America is crap and is getting crappier, so I'm looking forward to seeing his new film, "Sicko".

This may wind up being the scariest movie you see this year...

What are the seven wonders of Baltimore?

We've all heard of the seven wonders of the world, but I was wondering, what are the seven wonders of Baltimore? Marty Bass? Shot Tower? Traffic on the Inner Loop in the morning? Reagan Warfield's intelligence?

Let us know...

Let's count it down...in movie quotes...

OUCH! in Spanish even

What's Your Pirate Name?

My pirate name is:

Bloody Harry Flint

Every pirate lives for something different. For some, it's the open sea. For others (the masochists), it's the food. For you, it's definitely the fighting. Like the rock flint, you're hard and sharp. But, also like flint, you're easily chipped, and sparky. Arr!

Get your own pirate name from piratequiz.com.
part of the fidius.org network

funny commercial...

LOCKE CALLS IN!

If you missed it this morning, we were wrapping up our show by talking about LOST when Terry O'Quinn, who plays Locke, called in. He lives here when he's not taping, as his wife is from Reisterstown. We chatted for a bit, and I'll rerun it tomorrow (Friday) around 7:30am. He is limited by how much he can reveal, but it was cool to talk to him none the less...

LOST chat

Even with the spoiler, that was a great last episode...Hurley's rundown with the van, Sayid killing a guy with his bare feet, Locke's desire to be Gilligan, Penny on the telly, Naomi's unclear intentions, Ben's royal ass whupping, and Charlie's controversial death...

Let's start with the Hobbit...Why didn't Desmond open the door and save him? They had more than enough time to then swim to the surface before the entire hatch flooded, didn't they? Unless they felt they had to play out the scenario to save Claire and "the baby".

Screen saves from darkufo reveal little, other than "flash forward" being an anagram for the name of the funeral home where the mystery man was being viewed. Is it Michael in the coffin?

The flash forward seemed very much like a look ahead a la Dicken's "A Christmas Carol" rather than a definite this is what is. Whatever the device, it's clear the time frame of this show is forever out of linear (like it ever was linear).

Walt's return was odd, considering he had grown a foot since last time we saw him. Perhaps they will explain this by saying he came from the future.

Mikhail's second resurrection leads me to believe that like Locke, he can heal himself like the cheerleader in "Heroes". But why can't he grow a new eye?

Ben and Locke's fixation on staying on the island still puzzles me. It's clear that they feel powerful on the island, but is it because they felt like "losers" in the "real world".

Ben is running very short on soldiers. The "10 best" were killed at the camp, and I'm kind of wondering if Richard is all he has left.

I don't need no hateration

When I was asked by Channel 2 to provide commentary for LOST, one of the producers told me my main job would be to scour the internet and find out what people were talking about when it came to the show.

To that end I stumbled into a lot of chatter about theories and spoilers and what might happen. I followed some of those leads, and would use this information to tease what may be coming up on the next week's show.

This led me to the information of a possible "flash-forward" scenario in the finale. I mentioned that it might happen. This pissed many of you off for revealing a key plot point. Had I known that this would be the main reveal of the show, I would've kept it to myslef, but it was vague information, and I went with it. I apologize to those who felt I spoiled the final episode for them.

IDOL final results are in, and the winner is...Melinda???

THE FINALS

BLAKE opens by reprising his odd version of Bon Jovi's "You Give Love A Bad Name"…I don't like any better this time than I did last name, but I write it off to me being old…There you go, kids, here's your next American Idol…

Randy agrees with me and says while the beatboxing was hot, the singing wasn't all that…Paula says something about mimes and rainbows, and Simon said the performance was sizzling and he is the best performer.

SCORE: 11

JORDIN counters with a rousing rendition of Christina Aguilera's "Fighter"…While I want jordin to win, I can't help but think how non-descript this performance is compared to Blake's…Yes, the girl can sing, but she really needs some showmanship right now and I ain't seeing it…

SCORE: 9

I agree with Simon – Blake wins round one, by a nose…

We get some quick flashback in which Blake's dad tries to get us to believe some cockamamie story about Blake beatboxing since he was five or something…Right…And I was doing radio shows in my basement at six…

BLAKE comes back with Maroon 5's "And She Will be Loved"…Blake's fashion statement is the sweater vest, which looks painfully hot in the spring LA heat…He handles it okay, but it comes off as as rest period before the big finale later…

The judges are nonplussed, and all give him a kind of ho-hum review…

SCORE: 7

JORDIN reprises her song from country week, Martina McBride's "Broken Wing"…Again, she sings fine, but I want to see some passion…Some Irish step dancing…Some clogging…

Oh well, even Mariah never clogged, maybe I'm expecting too much…She looks great in her little denim outfit, which kicks the sweater vest's ass…

SCORE: 10

Round two goes to Jordin in my mind, but it's close going into the money round…

Stand by, kiddies, here comes the creepy Idol songs they make them sing…Look for a lot of lyrics about hopes and dreams and overcoming obstacles and flying over rainbows with care bears and how proud your daddy is and what not…

They announce the winners of the songwriting contest and intro Blake singing their song , "This Is My Now'. What? You have to be kidding with that title…

And the lameness of the song is hurting Blakey boy to start, although it kicks in finally and sounds a lot like the song Taylor sang last year, "Do I Make You Proud"…God, it's at this point I start to hate myself for watching this show…Can't they come up with better songs than this crap?
BLACHHH!!!!!

Randy starts in by knocking the song, too…Paula dances around the song's crappiness as well…Simon finds the whole thing to be odd, with the dancing around in the middle…A whole lot of feh!

SCORE: 4

Does Jordin have to sing that same crap? Or did they find a different piece of crap to sing?

Oh God, they are…Although it's really better suited to her, she still looks embarrassed to be singing it…These poor kids busted their ass to get here, and then they have to sing this crap…Jordin loses it and cries at the end, but don't be fooled that she's overcome with emotion, it's really because they made her sing this treacle…

Randy tells her she's the best singer, Paula says something about kitties, and Simon announces that he didn't think she belonged in the finals, but admits he was wrong…

SCORE: 13

Based on the point system, Melinda still wins over Blake 170-166, and she isn't in the competition any more!!!

Here's the season totals:

MELINDA 170

BLAKE 166

JORDIN 159

LAKISHA 113

CHRIS 98

PHIL 85

GENA GLOCKSEN 59

SANJAYA 58

HALEY THE SLATTERN 48

CHRIS SLIGH 28

STEPHANIE EDWARDS 13

BRANDON ROGERS 5

SABRINA 2

JARED 0

ANTONELLA -6 (she was there tonight!!!)

SUNDANCE -9

the race that made Baltimore famous...

It's not the horse race, it's the Preakness running of the urinals...

Season Finale sneak peek (via darkufo)

LOST season three in review

This recap of this season of LOST is hilarious.

Screen saves from the season finale

Can you figure out what's going to happen next week based on these photos? I'll leave the interpretation to you.

LOST and post modern philosophy

Is it possible to figure out what's happening on LOST by being aware of some last century's top philosophers? Drink some gingko bilboa and pop a smart pill, and drink this down.

I know some spoilers for nest week's season finale. Let me know how much you want to know and I'll tell you.

zombie-american

LOST preview and spoilers for tonight

Tonight's show will settle a couple of things, and then set the table for a wild season finale, which will feature the foreshadowed battle between Ben's "Others" and the beach "Losties".

We will clearly know which side Jack and Juliet are on. I will just say this -- "Bad Ass" Jack is back.

Sayid is determined to get the satellite phone to work, but he has some issues he has to deal with to do that, and Charlie is the guy who jumps up to help him.

Are Desmond's visions of Charlie dying real? Will they play out exactly as Desmond sees them? Tonight deals with that subject, and next week will crystallize it.

There is another hatch, and it figures into tonight's show.

Ben will show his true colors as to how he uses "Jacob" to get things done at their camp.

Bernard returns tonight, but I am sad to tell you it looks like he is being set up to get killed on next week's culmination.

The "other" Carl has a pivotal role.

Please comment on tonight's show here following it, as I won't be able to post until after work tomorrow.

LOST sneak peek 2

LOST sneak peek

Opr14BWY
Uploaded by DarkUFO

IDOL scoring

ROUND ONE: JUDGES’ CHOICE

JORDIN SPARKS JUMPS OUT OF THE BOX WITH “Wishing On A Star’ by Rose Royce, chosen for her by Simon. For the little Simon knows about contemporary music, he sure knows his old school soul, as this song is perfect for J-Sparks. She rocks it, and rocks a cute little baby doll dress as well.

Randy should be shocked with 50 volts every time he says “in it to win it.” Puh-leese. Simon, oddly enough, doesn’t like the arrangement, costing Jordin valuable points.

SCORE: 2

BLAKE gets Paula to choose for him. If when I was twenty someone had told me I’d be watching a TV show where a guy in a sweater vest would be singing “Roxanne” by the Police, I would’ve never believed them. Yet here I am, hating every minute of it. Boring.

Randy blesses Blake with a check it out, Paula likes it, Simon, not so much.

SCORE: 4

Randy chooses a stale Whitney song for MELLY D. I will say this, they’ve really worked on Melinda’s look, and she continues to look better every week. This song sucks to me, although Melinda gives it her all, growling at one point.

Randy is all high and mighty over his choice, and hands her three check it outs, plus the hot and check it out from his fax to the gov, wow! Paula gives her a best, and Simon gives her a best.

SCORE: 17

Simon accuses Ryan of being drunk….

ROUND TWO: PRODUCER’S CHOICE

JORDIN gets “She Works Hard For The Money”, which makes me wonder about the producers, choosing a song about hookers for a 17 year old.

Randy likes it, Paula concurs, Simon agrees enough to get the points.

SCORE: 9

BLAKE is forced to sing Maroon 5’s “This Love”. What’s with the goofy dance steps? This song actually fits Blake well, at least until he gets the hiccups halfway through. Oh, I’m sorry that’s called “beat boxing”.

Randy thinks that’s a good vibe for him. Paula say something about elements, and Simon says it was better than the first song.

SCORE: 8

MELINDA gets “Nutbush City Limits’ by Tina Turner. This is a great choice for Melly, but although she rocks it well, there’s not enough movement for me, she’s a little too stationary.

Randy likes it, Paula asks her if she had fun, Melinda looks sedated in her response. Simon completes the positive spin.

SCORE: 8

ROUND THREE: CONTESTANT’S CHOICE

JORDIN goes with “I Who Have Nothing” from back on 60’s week. I’m not a big fan of trying to relive past glory. Yawn.

Randy disagrees, he loved it. Paula loved it. Simon at least disses her for the old school crap-ola.

SCORE: 7

BLAKE is shown doing “I Like Big Butts” with Sir Mix A Lot before doing a Robin Thicke song. It costs him serious credibility. I like this song. This is the groove Blake is good at. Don’t ruin it, Blake, don’t beat box…Don’t…Oops..He couldn’t resist, could he? Damn you, Blake Lewis.

Randy called it alright. Paula opens her mouth but nothing comes out. Simon like it.

SCORE: 9

MELINDA is last but not least. She’s racked up some serious points so far. She gets a street named after her, and then belts out “I Am Woman”. Ladies and gentlemen, Melinda has made her statement. It should be her and Jordin for the title next week. This is the most personality I’ve seen her show, ever. Good time to throw it down.

Randy thinks it’s hot. Paula blah blah and Simon loved the strip tease. He agrees with me: she should be in the final.

SCORE: 11

Blake go home and let the ladies duke it out next week, please don’t vote for Mr. Annoying Noise. Please.

LOST easter eggs for the week

Lots of talk about the person observed in the room when Locke and Ben paid a visit to "Jacob". He seemed to look like Sayid's friend in the CIA from the first season. I personally don't see it.

This web page offers the most complete look at some of the hidden items from this week's episode.

LOST poll

Is Locke dead?

I say he is because death seems to follow resolution of your flashback issues on the show, however, in the Micheal Emerson interview below, he drops the hint that maybe Mr. Locke will recover. What do you think?

Let me know in the comments.

The real Ben revealed

Michael Emerson has something interesting things to say about being on LOST, and he drops a couple of clues about how well Locke will be doing following the shooting.

LOST (spoilers, so if you're here before th show don't read!!!!!)

Well, kids, a lot will be revealed tonight...Let me know after the show what you think...

...about Locke's sudden macho butt whupping capabilities...
...about Ben's dad's lowly place in the order of things...
...about what Jack knows about the Others...
...who was in charge of the uprising? Ben or Richard?

Big ending tonight, and I think we finally meet "Jacob"...

alec hassles the hoff

caged heat 3: that's hot

saddest songs ever

Spinner offers this list of the saddest songs ever. They even have streaming so you can listen to the songs and feel really depressed.

They missed two, however, "Rainy Night In Georgia" by Brook Benton. I used to throw day long pity parties listening to this in college, and "Sad Lisa" by Cat Stevens.

What's the saddest song you ever heard? And Blake beatboxing doesn't count.

IDOL scores for May 9

Here we go back to my youth with BeeGee night…I got my platform shoes on with me plaid elephant bell bottoms, let’s go to the disco!

ROUND ONE

MELINDA steps up first with “Love You Inside and Out”. Barry Gibb doesn’t think it’s a good choice, and neither does the panel. They think it’s lackluster and dull, but only Simon comes up with the right words to say it. Randy hides behind cryptic rhymes and Paula babbles on about “unicorns and rainbows” or something.

SCORE: 3

BLAKE THROWS “You Should Be Dancin’” at us, after he kisses Barry’s ass. And is it me or does Barry Gibb now sound like Sean Connery. What in God’s name is he wearing? This guy looks like a reject from a bad Beatles cover band. Okay, the beatboxing thing just annoys the crap out of me now.

Randy finally agrees with me, he calls it “like a bad discotheque in a foreign country”, I think the Emperor’s new clothes are off.

SCORE: 4 (thanks to randy’s muttering two ‘check it outs’)

KIKI is going with the classic, “Staying Alive”, (by the way, the best version ever of this song is Donny Osmond singing with Dweezil Zappa on guitar from Dweezil’s ’91 album, Confessions. KIKI looks relaxed and is rolling out a soulful reading of this song. It sounds unique, but what will the cranky judges think?

Ewww, Randy says “it was weird for him”, costing her two points. Simon calls it scary. Are they watching the same show I am?

SCORE: 1

JORDIN, the clear frontrunner in the judge’s eyes, is next. Tell me the comp isn’t hers barring a major screw up…
Hard to believe she’s only a year older than my oldest girl. Those wacky kids grow up so fast!
Jordin goes with some pre-disco BeeGees, “To Love Somebody” and she nails it. Her new flat hair look and the print dress make her look much older.

Randy’s not happy with it, but says it’s the best so far. Paula concurs, and Simon triples the “best” theme. Major points for the J-Sparks.

SCORE: 12

ROUND TWO

MELLY D is back with “How Can You Mend A Broken Heart”, Barry is concerned because she took the line out about being a loser. She thinks it’s bad karma to say “Loser” on IDOL. While Mel looks good in a shimmery grey dress, it’s all a bit loungy for me.

Randy says it’s better. Paula says she wants to be surprised, and wasn’t. Simon mocks Paula and then says the second half saved her and put her through to the semi-finals.

SCORE: 7

BLAKE continues his Barry Gibb ass-kissing by doing an obscure BeeGees song “Danger Zone” (no, not that one). Rockin’ the sweater vest, Blake is back into what he does best, grooving that Jason Mraz/Jamiroquai lite soul. It’s good.

Randy pops three check it outs, but is annoyed by the beatboxing. Paula sees only young man meat and compliments him. She will invite him back to her place later. Simon rips him, calling the song choice “weird and bizarre”.

SCORE: 2

KIKI is back trying, ironically, to stay alive after getting hosed by the panel in the first round. She goes with “Run To Me”, which is one of my favorite BeeGee tunes. You go, girl! She once again, does what KIKI does best, and belts it out with a soulful, gospel feel. Simon will call it yelling, probably.

Randy says it was better, Paula says she’s still a champ. Simon says KIKI and Blake’s asses are on the line.

SCORE: 3

JORDIN would have to become completely unhinged to not get through to next week. She goes with the Gibb song he wrote for Barbra Streisand, “Woman In Love”. Given that Jordin is better looking and less histrionic than Babs, this is a no brainer. She takes no chances and just sings it at the mic with no movement.

Randy gives her two check it outs, and then inexplicably kisses Barry Gibb’s butt. Paula stumbles through a “I don’t like it”. Simon calls it “pageanty”.

SCORE: 1

I agree with Simon, Blake and Kiki are on the chopping block. I have my fingers crossed for a Blake toss off.

LOST sneak peek 1

Sneakpeek1
Uploaded by SpoilerTV

A LOST idea, via popcandy

Now that Sawyer has killed umm...Sawyer, he can get off the island. The producers said all the people on the island are "lost" in their lives and have something they need to solve. By Sawyer killing the guy who has ruined his life he has finished what he set out to do and completed the task for which he was in Australlia. I'm now sure that somehow Sawyere will beable to get off the island.

Also what is Rouseau going to blow up?!?! I predict we'll find out in the finale when you tries to rescue her daughter.

-Is it just me or are John Locke's boobs getting bigger? Did the island get him pregnant?
-I loved how Cooper's southern accent became more and more pronounced as he started to reveal everything he had done. It did, right? Maybe I was hearing things.
-"We should tell her." It sounds like Jack and Juliet had their own little plan the whole time. Although, the evidence that Sawyer's bringing back to camp might throw a monkey wrench into whatever they had planned for Ben.
-Kate is a freaking idiot. Whether or not Jack and Juliet are to be trusted, it was stupid of her to just march up to them and start blabbing about Naomi.
-I like every scene that Alpert dude is in.
-Crazy French Lady + Dynamite = Trouble
-It'll be interesting to see how Cooper's death will affect both Locke and Sawyer. Will Locke be more of a badass now and become one with the island (whatever that means)? How will Sawyer act now that he's finally achieved his lifelong ambition?

A new game for your Wii: Full Metal Jacket

Remember him?

Sundance Head signs record deal with Universal. The fallen "Idol" will make an album for one of the four major record conglomerates.

The power of IDOL

Anyone who doubts the power of Idol to sell records should take pause at today's iTunes top 100, which features 7 songs by Bon Jovi, including "Livin' On A Prayer," "Wanted Dead Or Alive," and "This Ain't A Love Song," plus "Blaze of Glory" by Jon Bon Jovi solo. In addition, Carrie Underwood has 3 slots, Kelly Clarkson 2, Daughtry 2, Katharine McPhee 1, and Josh Groban 1 from the Idol Gives Back Album.

The future of LOST

From throwing things comes this coop on the future of LOST...

ABC has officially announced a rather odd-ball pickup for Lost. Key terms:

• Show to run three more seasons (2007-2008, 2008-2009, 2009-2010) and then conclude.
• Each season to run 16 episodes, rather than the normal 22-24 episodes most shows do in a season.
• Each 16 episode "season" will run uninterrupted, followed by a hiatus of some length. (Likely, new episodes January-May non-stop, similar to what we've seen the second half of this season.)
• No word on cast status, but Damon Lindelof and Carlton Cuse both get hearty paydays and development deals.

The finite calendar (even if it's a kind of long one) will be helpful in moving things along. This'll take the show to 120 episodes. At three days on the Island per episode, that (interestingly) is right around a year of "Island Time." I somehow expect that's not a coincidence.

LOST notes

Great show! The producers have long said that the people who gave up on the show would come to regret it, and I think they were right.

* What is it Juliet so longs to tell Kate? Is Jack in on the whole scope of the Dharma Initiative and what the Others are doing there? It sure seems like it.

* Ben manipulates people to do his dirty work. Locke manipulates Sawyer to do his dirty work. Is Locke really infiltrating the Others, or does he want to be like them?

* What did Ben mean, "He's not who we thought he is"?

* I love the creepy Richard character (who is clearly with whatever 'organization' is overseeing the place) with his little man purse filled with files on people. Who's files was locke burning at the beginning of the show, Sawyer's or his own? Wouldn't Richard have copies of the files?

* The parachute girl's story seems true, but what does Penny and her rich dad know about the experiment, and did Penny know what they would find?

* Mikhail and Rousseau are clearly NOT Others and seem to be running some sort of underground plans against them. What is Rousseau going to do with the dynamite? Is Locke on their side now?

* Sawyer's story turned out to be very sad. I feel for the guy now.

* What about the coming attempt by the Others to take the women? How will Jack and Juliet fit into Sawyer's upcoming attempt to block it? A rift is building between Jack and Sawyer for sure.

* Any predictions for the called for deaths of four more characters? Here's my list of who will die before the season ends:

Charlie, Juliet, parachute girl (Naomi) and Mr. Friendly

LOST preview for tonight

This TV Guide reporter lucked into getting an advance copy of "The Brig," tonight's Locke-centric episode of Lost (10 pm/ET on ABC), and, having watched it, what can I say? It's one of the series' best. And I'm not just talking this season. Written by series masterminds Damon Lindelof and Carlton Cuse, it is, by turns, twisted, spine-chilling and emotionally stirring. Make that gut wrenching. It grabs hold and doesn't let go, even after the last frame has smashed to black.

If you've watched the sneak-peek clip on this sight, you already know that Locke — MIA from the canvas since early April, when he discovered his loser Pop was in the island's magic box — shows up while Sawyer's taking a leak to reveal he's kidnapped Ben. Oh, and he'd like Sawyer to kill him, thank you very much. But this being Lost, that's only the beginning of the story. What follows is a literal and metaphorical journey that's bound to irrevocably change two of the drama's most complicated and best-loved characters. Which, if we're lucky, will only lead to more stand-out episodes like this one.

Here's what else to look out for:

Big blanks get filled. Much the way that last season's Michael-centric episode "Three Minutes" shed light on what the grieving father had been up to since taking off to find Walt, "The Brig" fills in the blanks where Locke's recent time with the Others is concerned. Among the questions answered: What was Cooper's reaction to seeing his son? What was Ben's motive for leading Locke to his father? Why on earth would the Others let Locke stick around after he blew up their sub? And just how far will Locke go to learn the island's secrets? (You remember the lengths Michael was willing to go to to get his son back, right?)

The Black Rock is back! The 19th-century wooden ship, first (and last) shown beached in the jungle during Season 1, is the backdrop for a chunk of tonight's action. Locke's prisoner is being held in the ship's titular brig. And somebody else shows up to pilfer some of its dynamite. Let's hope this somebody is more careful with it than our dearly-departed Dr. Artz.

Josh Holloway and Terry O'Quinn knock this episode out of the park. But Holloway claims shooting its emotionally-draining scenes took a toll. "Dude, it was intense filming that s---," he says. "It wore me out." Still, the two actors — who are good buds off-screen — relished the rare opportunity to work together. Will they do more of it in the future? Holloway's not saying, though he does let this slip: "What happens with them, it f--ks Sawyer up pretty bad. It makes him colder and more distant." That can't be good news for his relationship with Kate.

No. Way! This week's installment includes the reveal of Lost's biggest character cross yet. Bigger-than-Claire-and-Jack-sharing-the-same-father big. And this jaw-dropper was set up way back in Season 1.

The hits keep coming. Naomi the Parachutist (played by Marsha Thomason) — who revealed last week that as far as the "outside" world is concerned, Flight 815's passengers died (!) when the plane crashed — isn't done dropping bombshells. Cindy the Flight Attendant isn't done with the Others. And Richard (the intriguing Nestor Carbonell) is just getting started pulling strings. But you'll see what I mean by that next week.

predictions?

I think Chris Richardson and LaKisha will get the heave ho tomorrow. What do you think?

IDOL FANTASY SCORES FOR 5/1

It’s Bon Jovi night, and I’ve been waiting for this for a long time…

PHIL kicks it off with “Blaze Of Glory” from the movie “Young Guns”, which I will admit I saw. Emilio Estevez as Billy The Kid, maybe?

I give Phil props, he has gotten better every week. He doesn’t look like he could be a pop star, but who in this comp, outside of Jordin and the pretty boys could? He fits right in with this joint. BAM!

He knocks it out of the park, and the judges respond accordingly, after Randy name drops that he recorded that song…Paula gives him a “best” shot…

SCORE: 8

JORDIN goes with “Livin’ On A Prayer”, and immediately bonds with Jon by telling him her Mom’s a big fan…Jordin, leave the brown nosing to Blake, you just made jon feel like an old man…

This has got to be a tough song to sing, but Jordin’s little black dress is smokin’ and girl brings the rock growl to it. She’s got the vibe and the vocals are shaky at times, but I like the whole ‘tude.

Old school Paula would have been up and dancing, but sedated Paula stays seated.

Judges? What say you?

Randy is vague, Paula is too, not a good sign. Simon says she looks like she’s from the Addams Family. Wha? Ryan counters with a Herman Munster punch. Oh the wit is stellar. Jordin is gracious. Don’t hold the fingers up, girlfriend, you need points…

SCORE: 0 (OUCH!)

LAKISHA aka Kiki, comes out dropping a little personality, talking about givin’ us a little sumpin sumpin. You go, girl!

Kiki is rockin’ the black as well, and she looks great, singing the lesser known, “This Is Not A Love Song”. And sadly, she sounds a little flat. But she brings it home after a shaky start.

Randy thought she recovered enough to say she’s back. Paula blah blah blah, and Simon kisses her.

SCORE: 8

BLAKEY McBLAKE BLAKE is told this song is risky because everyone knows it and doesn’t want it messed with…And staying with the black theme, Blake has gone goth and dyed his hair black. Ewww, beatboxing in a Bon Jovi song? Strangely wrong, and the sad thing is when he did sing, it sounded pretty good. I don’t know what to say about this. The kid’s got cajones.

Randy loves it, Paula is standing and seal clapping, and Simon is with me, torn between the syle and the substance, but applauds the effort. Huge scoring for the B-man. Ryan treats him like a trained monkey, “Put a record on for me”.

SCORE: 16

Ryan disses CHRIS R by calling him Justin Timberlake, and Chris then fumbles a simple viewer question. Chris looks scared as he takes on “Wanted Dead or Alive”. With the shadow of Daughtry and Jon Bon Jovi looming over him, Chris comes out looking to slay. The start is solid, but can he kick when he needs to? Sort of, but oh boy, what’s with the white belt? That’ll cost him. Not inspiring on a night when his head is on the chopping block.

Randy gives Chris two check it outs, Paula says he did his thing, and Simon is not hopeful Chris will ever be seen again.

SCORE: 4

Only MELINDA remains, what rock gem will Melly D pull out of the Bon Jovi grab bag? Do you like my new nickname for her, Melly D? Okay, come up with your own, smartass.

Jon says he can teach her how to rock on “Have A Nice Day” by comparing it to a gospel song. He also teaches her the Ozzy sign and how to smoke a bong.

Melly busts out with a rock tank top and gives the song an odd twist. Mel’s uninspired but powers through a professional reading of it. Ahhh…..

Randy is tepid but complimentary. Paula says some crap about a rock star, and Simon, dumbfounded by Bon Jovi’s catalog says what amounts to “whatever”.

SCORE: 8

George and Laura Bush pop up for a cameo. In the future, our leaders will be elected on reality TV.

SEASON TOTALS (including tonight)

MELINDA 115

BLAKE 121

JORDIN 109

LAKISHA 104

CHRIS 98

PHIL 85

GENA GLOCKSEN 59

SANJAYA 58

HALEY THE SLATTERN 48

CHRIS SLIGH 28

STEPHANIE EDWARDS 13

BRANDON ROGERS 5

SABRINA 2

JARED 0

ANTONELLA -6 (she was there tonight!!!)

SUNDANCE -9