simpsonize yourself!

Burger King has launched another fun website today with SimpsonizeMe.com, a promotion for (what else?) The Simpsons Movie. All you have to do is upload a photo, and it will instantly turn you into a Simpsons character.

I have yet to find a picture it will accept of me. I guess I suck too much to be a Simpson.

(via popcandy)

That'll get their attention.

A guy auditioning for "Survivor" in Bakersfield, CA gutted and ate a snake in front of the producers. CAUTION (or COOL!): video of event on link.

Jojo and Reagan section in the house

The Blues Brothers tried to get on the big screen, but never made it...



Optimus Jojo should have been "fan of the day", but instead, it went to a 7-year-old...Jojo just wasn't cute enough...

blog recommendation

Ken Levine was an Orioles announcer for about two minutes in the 80's, and he is an Emmy Award winning writer as well. His blog is a nice quick read, with tremendous insights into the worlds of sports reporting and Hollywood.

I really like this bit about stand up comics becoming game show hosts. (CAUTION: bad language.)

ch-ch-changes

We have debuted our own show blog on the Mix 1065 site. Most of the show stuff will be posted there. And my personal blog (this one) has changed to jojogirard.blogspot.com.

10 simple ways to save yourself from messing up your life

1. Stop taking so much notice of how you feel. How you feel is how you feel. It’ll pass soon. What you’re thinking is what you’re thinking. It’ll go too. Tell yourself that whatever you feel, you feel; whatever you think, you think. Since you can’t stop yourself thinking, or prevent emotions from arising in your mind, it makes no sense to be proud or ashamed of either. You didn’t cause them. Only your actions are directly under your control. They’re the only proper cause of pleasure or shame.
2. Let go of worrying. It often makes things worse. The more you think about something bad, the more likely it is to happen. When you’re hair-trigger primed to notice the first sign of trouble, you’ll surely find something close enough to convince yourself it’s come.
3. Ease up on the internal life commentary. If you want to be happy, stop telling yourself you’re miserable. People are always telling themselves how they feel, what they’re thinking, what others feel about them, what this or that event really means. Most of it’s imagination. The rest is equal parts lies and misunderstandings. You have only the most limited understanding of what others feel about you. Usually they’re no better informed on the subject; and they care about it far less than you do. You have no way of knowing what this or that event really means. Whatever you tell yourself will be make-believe.
4. Take no notice of your inner critic. Judging yourself is pointless. Judging others is half-witted. Whatever you achieve, someone else will always do better. However bad you are, others are worse. Since you can tell neither what’s best nor what’s worst, how can you place yourself correctly between them? Judging others is foolish since you cannot know all the facts, cannot create a reliable or objective scale, have no means of knowing whether your criteria match anyone else’s, and cannot have more than a limited and extremely partial view of the other person. Who cares about your opinion anyway?
5. Give up on feeling guilty. Guilt changes nothing. It may make you feel you’re accepting responsibility, but it can’t produce anything new in your life. If you feel guilty about something you’ve done, either do something to put it right or accept you screwed up and try not to do so again. Then let it go. If you’re feeling guilty about what someone else did, see a psychiatrist. That’s insane.
6. Stop being concerned what the rest of the world says about you. Nasty people can’t make you mad. Nice people can’t make you happy. Events or people are simply events or people. They can’t make you anything. You have to do that for yourself. Whatever emotions arise in you as a result of external events, they’re powerless until you pick them up and decide to act on them. Besides, most people are far too busy thinking about themselves (and worry what you are are thinking and saying about them) to be concerned about you.
7. Stop keeping score. Numbers are just numbers. They don’t have mystical powers. Because something is expressed as a number, a ratio or any other numerical pattern doesn’t mean it’s true. Plenty of lovingly calculated business indicators are irrelevant, gibberish, nonsensical, or just plain wrong. If you don’t understand it, or it’s telling you something bizarre, ignore it. There’s nothing scientific about relying on false data. Nor anything useful about charting your life by numbers that were silly in the first place.
8. Don’t be concerned that your life and career aren’t working out the way you planned. The closer you stick to any plan, the quicker you’ll go wrong. The world changes constantly. However carefully you analyzed the situation when you made the plan, if it’s more than a few days old, things will already be different. After a month, they’ll be very different. After a year, virtually nothing will be the same as it was when you started. Planning is only useful as a discipline to force people to think carefully about what they know and what they don’t. Once you start, throw the plan away and keep your eyes on reality.
9. Don’t let others use you to avoid being responsible for their own decisions. To hold yourself responsible for someone else’s success and happiness demeans them and proves you’ve lost the plot. It’s their life. They have to live it. You can’t do it for them; nor can you stop them from messing it up if they’re determined to do so. The job of a supervisor is to help and supervise. Only control-freaks and some others with a less serious mental disability fail to understand this.
10. Don’t worry about about your personality. You don’t really have one. Personality, like ego, is a concept invented by your mind. It doesn’t exist in the real world. Personality is a word for the general impression that you give through your words and actions. If your personality isn’t likeable today, don’t worry. You can always change it, so long as you allow yourself to do so. What fixes someone’s personality in one place is a determined effort on their part—usually through continually telling themselves they’re this or that kind of person and acting on what they say. If you don’t like the way you are, make yourself different. You’re the only person who’s standing in your way.

(courtesy of wiki's lifehack page)

my new slogan

More old time ad nonsense can be found here...

why use fireworks this holiday when this is much funnier...

Diet Coke Bomb Prank - Watch more free videos

what's the longest you've waited in line for something?

WIth all the hype surrounding the so-far poorly operating iPhone, I'm curious, what's the longest you've waited in line for something? I once stayed up all night for Doobie Brothers tickets, and I can admit this now, the wait in line turned out to be more entertaining than the damn concert (the Doobies having sold thier soul to Michael mcDonald shortly before the tour).

who has the free time...

...to brilliantly edit a piece like this in their free time...

kwik-e-mart comes to maryland

Only 13 &-Elevens have been converted into kwik-e-marts around the country, and one of them is in Bladensburg! Aren't we lucky...here's a kwik tour...