About the last LOST

Where do we start with this one? Billy Dee Williams phoning in a cameo as a schlock TV character? Boone and Shannon's reappearance in a flashback (albeit with different hair for Shannon)? Zombie-esque paralyzing spider bites? Sawyer's sharp tongue?

It's all so damn confusing.

Nikki, apparently a 80's TV star from a schlock Charlie's Angels type show, beds her older producer (shades of Aaron Spelling anyone?) in order to rip off eight million dollars worth of diamonds with her chef sidekick Paolo. They crash on the lisland, and get in a fight over Paolo's lack of initiative in finding them. It turns out, he's just thinking (probably correctly) that bimbo Nikki will ditch him once she has the rocks.

Paolo, while playing hide and seek with the goods, finds out Ben's plot to kidnap Jack, and yet does nothing. He also steals a walkie talkie from the Others (like they wouldn't notice it missing).
Has he been in communicado with Ben and the gang? Who knows? I know that walkie talkie will be a big plot device in the near future. And look at Juliet scoping on Jack "He's cute." That opened the door for Ben machinations on her later, didn't it?

It's to the point in this show where even a glaring continuity error, like Nikki wandering the crash scene in nearly pristene condition, while everyone else is bloody and dirty is thought provoking. Was she already on the island? Are there copies of people that come out of the "mystery box"? Also, in the flashback, Jack's new tattoo was back.

The highlight of the night, was the interplay between Sawyer and the Beachies. Sawyer was in rare form with his running commentary and condescending name calling. But would the Sawyer we've come to know and love let 8 mil in rocks get buried? Doubt it.

Did anyone else notice Shannon's inference that Boone is gay? I believe her quote was, "Quit flirting with that guy and move it." Huh?

I was glad to see Ethan again. Apparently he's a University of Wisconsin grad as he was sporting a Bucky badger t-shirt.

Margie writes that maybe Nikki's last words weren't "Paolo lies", but were "paralyzed", as in please don't my bury my fine looking body. (And I do mean fine).

When Artz says, “The pigs are walking” in response to Kate’s explanation about the guns in the case, this is a reference to George Orwell’s Animal Farm. At the end of the book, the pigs take over the animal society, start walking on two legs and move into the farmer’s house, the final step in their “some animals are more equal than others” transition to power.

Favorite Hurley line: “No offense, dude, but as far as superpowers go, yours is kind of lame.”* So now we know what TV show Locke was watching in his apartment last week: it was “Exposé.” (The dialog, if you recall, included reference to “Crystal” and “the Cobra.”) Although it was widely reported that Billy Dee would play a character named “LaShade,” in fact, he played himself, playing a character named LaShade (aka “The Cobra”). Paolo and Niki’s “script bag” says “Exposé Season 4,” so the show would have been in it’s first season when Locke was watching.*

The diamonds were hidden inside a matrioshka doll. Matroishka dolls are often referred to as metaphors, much in the same way that onions are, meaning that some things have many layers that must be peeled away. In fact, this episode works pretty much like a matroiskha doll, with the layers of flashbacks fitting into what we already know and remember about the show. According to Wikipedia, Matroishka dolls also appeared in the credits of the John Le Carre TV miniseries “Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy” “with the fourth doll having no face…the unknown mole, a spy who’s buried in the deepest.”

Comments in italics were taken from popcandy)

Let me know your take...

IDOL fantasy scores for 3/27

LAKSIHA – “LAST DANCE”

While LaKisha looks colorful, her performance sheds no new light on her, but she racks up big points…

SCORE +11

CHRIS SLIGH - “EVERY LITTLE THING SHE DOES”

If anyone’s on the hot seat tonight, it’s Chris. His Constantine-esque “come hither” looks at the camera didn’t help.

SCORE: 0

GINA GLOCKSEN – “STAND BY YOU”

What the hell is she wearing? If there was a convent at CBGB’s, this would be the uniform. IS that a rosary around her neck? What the hell, it’s Lent.

SCORE: +10 (including a best of night from Simon)

SANJAYA – “BATHWATER”

What can I say? The hair, the low rise jeans, the uniqueness that is the Sanjaya style.

SCORE: +2

HALEY – “TRUE COLORS”

I think Haley has made tremendous strides to get noticed, but she needs to work on her performance, it’s kind of a drag.

SCORE: -5

PHIL – “EVERY BREATH YOU TAKE”

One gets the feeling that when Phil returns to his Navy unit following the competition, they will be mocking him for the clothes he wore.

SCORE: +6

MELINDA DOOLITTLE – “HEAVEN KNOWS”

I love humble little ole Melinda, but I’m surprised the judges haven’t jumped on her for her song choices yet. I don’t think she’s sang anything contemporary in a while. 70’s disco? Puh-leez!

SCORE: +3

BLAKE LEWIS – “LOVE SONG”

Blake is Blake, he is what he is, a frat boy crooner.

SCORE: +9

JORDIN SPARKS – “HEY BABY”

Good Lord, who’s dressing this poor girl? Catholic School meets Petticoat Junction. Ouch! And I didn’t think the vocal was that hot, but the judges ate that up…

SCORE: +7

CHRIS R – “DON’T SPEAK”

Chris looks like the kid in your neighborhood who’s polite, but always stoned. A glassy-eyed wonder.

SCORE: +2

Let's dish on IDOL

Gwen Stefani is the guest host/coach for this week's IDOL, and the theme is pop music. The Idol's song choice had to chart on Billboard's Top 20. Given that the latest reject, Stephanie Edwards, recently said she was considering two songs for this week, "MacArthur Park" and Cyndi Lauper's "True Colors", it's clear the kids are being given a wide range to choose from. What pop songs should the Idol's sing this week?

I think LaKisha needs to extend it by showing off a wild side, so maybe a little Salt n Pepa's "Whatta Man" or something out of her safety zone like "Oops, I Did It Again" by Britney.

Sanjaya should just get crazier and crazier, so I think he should throw down some 90's hair metal like "Pour Some Sugar On Me".

Blake Lewis could show his feminine side with a version of TLC's "No Scrubs", and Gina Glocksen could get back on track by popping on the Gin Blossoms "Hey Jealousy".

Chris Sligh and REM look like a perfect match to me, how about "Everybody Hurts" or "Losing My Religion"?

What song would you like your favorite to sing Tuesday?

For those parents who have had enough of thier kid's shows

If you have young children, you know all about the shows they watch over and over and over again.

My kids watched the same damn Barney Live video until I gagged every time it came on.

With that in mind, SNL did this little spoof of Dora the Explorer. It's not overwhelmingly inappropriate, but it hits all the right notes for parents weary of their kids videos. I laughed through out, but when "Maraka" asks the free will question , coffee flew out of my mouth. Enjoy.

Skittles on mangy animals

Look, I like Skittles as much as the next guy, but I don't think I'm eating THESE!

Would Coldplay sound better if they were a salsa band?

Yes, check this out...

Marcia, Marcia, What!!

Poor Marcia was a coke head, among other things. What willMike say about this?

LOST and the Magic Box

Locke continues his Gilligan-like destruction of everything. Just when it appears we may find out about what the island and its creepy inhabitants are about, here comes our bald friend to "blow it up good, real good."

And the Others compound looked loaded: pool tables, pianos, probably satellite TV with DVR, and a Magic Box where whatever you can imagine appears, just like that! Only Locke can turn that last accoutremont into a downer by imagining his cruel father.

How about imagining me up some wings and beer for God's sake? Or a jet pack to fly out of this hell hole. But then, if I lived on a tropical island with a magic box, I don't think I'd be going anywhere soon. Can you imagine Jessica Alba? Naked? Of course you can!

Ben plays mind games with Locke, Sayid plays mind games with Alex, can anyone on this show just relax a little? And what's Danielle's deal? She had a chance to snatch Alex and instead just looked at her longingly. She also tends to shy away from confrontation. Why? I think the Others banished and shunned her after she came back from Rumspringa knocked up.

Has Locke possibly swapped powers with Ben following the magnetic incident that knocked our hero's plane out of the sky? Ben is a little insecure about being ill, while Locke seems to be indestructible. The whole "you're in the wheelchair and I'm not" exchanges seem to make our bald friend get more confident as to what power he posseses. Is Johnny the next King of the Others?

And why wouldn't Johnny-boy want to stay on the island forever? Is real life was so freaking miserable: eating TV dinners in front of a black and white TV set with rabbit ears, scaring off solicitors with his threatening sign. And he's the son of a flaming asshat who used to be on bad 70's TV shows like "Emergency!". I'd never want to go back to that place either. And is Locke's dad the "man from Tallahassee"? Or was that indeed code for "I found a patsy to blow up the sub!"

Next week we go back to the beach for a storyline that promises to feature a Nikki and Paolo flashback. What? It's almost like saying don't tune in next week because nothing of value will happen because we're going to dwell on two people we don't care about. Unless you're into the hot little minx Nikki. It turns out she used to be a stripper and we'll she some of that hot action...Okay, I'm in...

Jack is quite the piano player. Next week he'll perform his new concerto "Busting a cap in Locke's ass in D minor".

As usual, the best LOST chat is over here at popcandy. Some thoughts from the discussion:

Something that has occurred to me is that Biblically speaking Benjamin was the son of Jacob - the youngest son. I wonder if our Ben is the son of Jacob (whose list we have heard about). This gives us another father/child pair and may connect with Ben's interest in John's father/son issues.



Wow fantastic episode. Why was Jack trying to cover and hide that tattoo on his forearm? Perhaps that would be a sign that it's not really Jack in the first place. Although I was going back and forth the whole episode I found it telling the director clearly wanted us to notice that it was being hidden, many shots were clearly aimed to tease. Also am I crazy, but when did Jack get gray hair? And his voice was different as well.


- Jack is not a twin - the problem with Jack is the actor keeps getting new tatoos and getting grey hair - unfortunately they cant force the actors to stay looking exactly the same - probably why Walt had to go, he was getting to old.


Just wondering if anyone noticed that the whiskey Lockes father pored for the two of them was the same ultra rare whiskey that Desmonds father-in-law to be pored and said was to good for him.They also had a bottle on the beach when Hurley and Junkie got him drunk.



John's dad is made from nano bots in the form of his dad. How John deals with "it " will decide if he live or dies . Just like Ecko did .
No more food drops .... I feel a war coming on?
I think this is the test for John to see if he is "special" or not . If he passes He will become a leader and squre off against ... Jack???


I think we can infer that John Locke’s father, Anthony Cooper, is “the man from Tallahassee.” It’s also very likely, I think, that he at some point went by the name “Sawyer.” (In this episode he was going by the name “Adam Seward,” which is close to “Sawyer.”)



I think people are trying to overcomplicate the whole, what is in the magic box question. If we learned anything from this episode it was that Ben is very manipulative, and people saying that Ben was really telling John he was magic is just another manipulation by Ben. What does John want the most? He wants dignity and respect, and being "magical" and "having a special connection with the island" would give him this in this environment. Why else did he fear the chair so much? He was afraid of being viewed as weak. John already explained that what Ben wanted was for him to blow up the submarine, and Ben through the clever "I can't let my people know they can't leave" stuff tricked John into doing exactly what he wanted him to do. John really only needs to hear what he wants (also that agreement stuff is starting to annoy me about Jack too, he used to demand action before agreeing). Remember how John kept saying to his father "Just tell me" and all that stuff? Well, Ben is now telling him what he wants to hear, that he is special, and that the island is magical, when in fact it could just be a facade to get Locke to shutup.



Okay, I think I have a serious plot link here. The man from Tallahassee was the owner of the Double Deuce in RoadHouse. What was served in the DD? Liquor. What did he serve Locke? Hmmmm...let me see here...liquor? Who else was in RoadHouse? Patrick Swayze and Sam Elliott. Both were lost souls searching for answers. I know- spooky.

Stay with me here. Swayze and Elliott knocked people through windows at the DD. Tallahassee was pleased with this and he then pushes Locke through a window. I know!

Swayze was also in Point Break with Keanu Reeves. Keanu Reeves was in Matrix with Lawrence Fishburn (Morpheus! The Oracle! Alternate Realities!) and Fishburn was in Mystic River with...c'mon, people! Kevin Bacon!

Kevin Bacon is Jacob! Kevin Bacon is the all knowing mastemind of Dharma, the Island and father of Ben and Locke! But not just any Kevin Bacon. The one from JFK who was a jailed southern homosexual. Scary!

That's it, boys. Close up shop. Mysteries solved.

IDOL fantasy scores for 3/20

HALEY SCARNATO – “TELL HIM”
I agree with Simon, Haley is upping the sex appeal, trying to grab the perv vote now that Antonella is gone.

SCORE: 5
A check it out, a flirt from Simon and no number flashing.

CHRIS RICHARDSON – “DON’T LET THE SUN CATCH YOU CRYING”
Chris can seem whiny and nasally at times, but everyone is willing to over look it.

SCORE: 8
A check it out, all three judges agree, a Simon compliment and no number flashing.

STEPHANIE EDWARDS – “You Don’t Have To Say You Love Me”
Stephanie can be bland at times. Tonight is one of those times.

SCORE: -2
Seal clap from Paula, pitchy comment, a positive appearance comment, and a cabaret reference from Simon…

BLAKE LEWIS – “Time Of The Season”
I kid Blake for his “wicky wicky wick” human beatbox, but tonight it worked.

SCORE: 11
Paula stands up, two check it outs, all judges love him, Simon compliments, and no number flashing…

LAKISHA – does she need a last name? “Diamonds Are Forever”
Lakisha is being stylized well, looking splendant in green, blinged out in a million dollars in diamonds…

SCORE: -3
BAD SONG CHOICE, NEGATIVE APPEARANCE COMMENT, POSITIVE APPEARANCE COMMENT.

PHIL STACEY – “Tobacco Road’
I generally don’t like Phil, but tonight he impresses me, too bad the judges feel differently.

SCORE: -6
Paula stands up, but he hets two pitchy comments, and a bar band reference. He’s helped by a “being honest”…

JORDIN SPARKS – “I Who Have Nothing”
Jordin towers over Ryan, who must be 5-2. Big girl, big voice.

SCORE: +11
A check it out, best song of the night, all three judges love her.
SANJAYA – again, do we need a last name?—“You Really Got Me”
What can I say? A crying girl, judges who hold back because they feel sorry for the guy, a weird moment to be sure.

SCORE: 0
Everyone was oddly vague, no scoring opps.

GINA GLOCKSEN – “Paint It Black”
She looks the part, but her singing is screechy to me.

SCORE: +4
After a pitchy comment from Randy, Paula saves her score by mumbling some incoherent shit about Simon’s favorite song and not liking purple (?), and Simon being “honest” again, plus a point for not flashing numbers.

CHRIS SLIGH – “She’s Not There”
Chris needed to bring it tonight to keep his hopes up, and he does by “bringing chubby back” as the sign says. Chris kind of looks like Mark Volman of “The Turtles”, so the 60’s fits him. Although brining chubby back is difficult on your breathing as Chris sounded winded from all his audience antics.

SCORE: +6
2 check it outs, Paula compliments his appearance and Simon is complimentary for one.

Chris in twenty years



MALINDA DOOLITTLE – “As Long As You Love Me”
Malinda seems to lack confidence until she sings, and then she shines. It’s her form of expression. I really want her to win. They’re starting to dree her younger, and what’s with the girl crying again?

SCORE: +12
A best performance comment from Randy, all three judges likey-likey, Simon compliments and no number flashing…

ouch!

Slalom Skier Nutshot - Click Here for more great videos and pictures!

"Oh Messueir!" indeed.

LOST spoilers for this week

"The Contender" previews this week's show.

johnney depp watch

Don't forget that the trailer for Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End debuts tonight during the season premiere of Dancing with the Stars (ABC, 8 p.m. ET). If you don't want to sit through two hours of Ian Ziering and Cliff Clavin on a dancefloor, just head to Yahoo at 10 p.m. ET to watch it in high definition.

(By the way, a Russian version of the trailer leaked on YouTube earlier, though I can't verify if this is the clip we'll be seeing later.)

caution: falling supermodels

I love this blog

This should be a must read for everyone, an eye opening book is now an eye opening blog.

Just take a stroll down to the "If crack dealers took lessons from Walgreen's" post.

LOST meets Gilligan

I finally figured it out! The LOST island is Gilligan's Island! Locke is Gilligan and keeps screwing things up because he wants to stay and be leader of the tribe. Kate is MaryAnn, Claire is Ginger, Bernard and Rose are the Howells, Sayid is the Skipper and Jack is the professor.

I haven't really taken it past that level, but it is an interesting theory isn't it?

So what did you think of last night's show?

Claire was hot as a Goth and Kate straddling that tree was a special moment. Has anyone noticed that Kate and Claire always seem to be wearing the latest fashions? Is there a clothes drop in addition to the food drops?

No one should be shocked that Jack and Claire were siblings, but what does that have to do with anything? How will it be tied together? I think we'll find out that jack's dad is involved with Dharma somehow. It's also becoming clear that Locke was involved with Dharma is some capacity (remember the cult he was in in his flashbacks?).

Did you notice that Jack didn't have any tatoos as he tossed the football with Tom at the end. Does he have an evil twin, or have they removed them as part of some sort of brainwashing?
Maybe Kate, Sayid and Locke accidentally stumbled into Jack's movie "We Are Marshall"?

Claire wished her mother dead and BAM! it happened. Sound familiar?

Who's on the "list"? Didn't they (the others/hostiles) intentionally keep Jack, Kate and Sawyer for a reason last season? I thought they let Hurley go because he wasn't needed. Is Hurley on the list?

This site gives scores for LOST cast members based on things that happen to them...Kate is leading as of last night...

When the one eyed Russian started to say Locke was paralyzed last time he saw him, Rousseau cut him off, so she's definitely an Other...

In the words of the great Rummy, "there are knowns knowns and there are known unkonowns".

In conclusion here's what I think is unknown: Rousseau is an other bent on sabotaging the losties attempts to find out what's going on. The island inhabitants built their shangri la there after dropping out from mainstream society. Locke was in their cult at one time and is familiar with the island. The Dharma Intiative which included Jack's dad and Penny's dad came to the island and conducted experiments which cost some of the others lives. They rebelled and kicked them off the island, only Desmond remained because the experiments put him into an endless time loop which he keeps reliving certain days over and over again. Got it?

And now some observations from popcandy's outstanding LOST discussion page:

I think Locke's intentions are pretty evident, he aims to seek out Ben and "punish" him for making him question himself. Locke has always seemed to react throughout the show to those who question his ability to "do". Even more so when someone questions it and he allows himself to believe them. He hates the feeling of being weak and the people who make him feel that way.

Patchy almost revealing Locke's paralysis was what got him killed. Locke wants to be seen as strong, but feels the paralysis made him weak and would make him weak in the eyes of those he leads.

This is a mission for Locke, he is taking back his feeling of authority and power that Ben stripped him of in the hatch.

The Claire story is far from over. What is going to be fun is finding out who was driving the truck that hit them...could it have been a certain Lostee who ended up paralyzed after the accident?

I'm not sure if the man at the end is Jack's twin. If you recall, he did Ben's surgery after seeing Kate and Sawyer together. Maybe he felt there was nothing left for him with the other Lostees but his way off the island is to "play nice" for awhile with the Others.

Or to take an off-the-wall stab, with all the scienctific experimenting on the island. I'm wondering if the Dharma Initiative were a bunch of cloners and the clones are unable to reproduce...and the clones deem themselves "perfect."

Might explain why they took Claire and stuck the needle in her. It was not to hurt the baby or Claire, but to extract DNA to clone another Jack.

I may be wrong, but was that ANOTHER Wizard of Oz reference, when Patchy was telling everybody about the "magnificent man" (like the "magnificent Oz"), and why everybody wasn't on the list ("you're angry, you're afraid" = "you need a heart, you need courage"). I know it's vague and a stretch, but it really seemed similar, and they really do love Oz, these writers.

The book sawyer was reading was indeed the fountainhead. Which is ironically appropriate seeing the last two minutes of the show. The fountainhead follows 2 architects and their careers/love triangle. Peter Keating (JACK) is a by the books architect with ok skills, and good looks.He lies and changes himself to fit in with high society (OTHERS).He lives an unhappy life although he becomes rich and famous, because it is all a lie. He is in love with dominique (KATE) a socialite with a shady past. Howard Roark,(SAWYER) is an uppity architect with amazing skills and a cold, agressive, uncompromising personality.Howard (Sawyer) is a social pariah because he refuses to thikn of anyone but himself. In the book howard (SAWYER) hooks up with Dominique (KATE), not Peter (Jack).
I hope that im reading this love triangle as a direct comparison to the book (which i loved)
I do thikn it was jack at the end of the episode and I think he's just given up fighting and decided to just enjoy his time with the others, just as Peter in the book would have. I think the others revere him as "Their Healer" now.

What The Hell Did They Say on Lost Last Week

I know alot people aren't digging Lost this season, but for those of you who are, like myself, and who refuse to give up, here's a little translation from the climatic scene in last week's episode.

Now before you read the following scene, grab a friend, an eye patch, 2 guns, and make some fake tickets, then set up your bedroom like a theater, and and invite your next store neighbors to come over to watch. You are going to put on a show!

(FYI: Mikhail is the Patch wearing Guy)

Klugh: Mikhail. Mikhail! You know what to do.
Mikhail: We still have another way [out].
Klugh: We cannot risk it. You know the conditions.
Mikhail: There is another way.
Klugh: They captured us. We will not let them to get into the territory.
Klugh: You know what to do. That's an order.
Mikhail: We still have another way!
Klugh (in English): Just do it, Mikhail.
Mikhail: Forgive me. (shoots)

(via paulscheer.com)

IDOL scoring, week one of the finals

The show opens with the judges talking about how the contestants have to be “in it to win it”.

Actually Sanjaya and Phil look like they would rather be kicked out so they can go home and get back to whatever it is they do.

They introduce tonight’s guest host, Diana Ross, who looks sedated and witch-like. I can only hope one of the guys chooses to sing “Swept Away”.

BRANDON ROGERS opens the show with a manic rendition of the Supremes, and when he stops screaming he forgets the words. OUCH!

Randy is disappointed, telling him only the last two notes were any good.

Paula dispatches some feel good words, but admits he stunk.

Simon looks like he’d rather be home shopping for mansierres for his man boobs. He hates it. No surprise.

SCORE: -3 for all the judges hating him, -5 for forgetting the words.

MALINDA DOOLITTLE says she hates getting all dressed up and I agree. I think the stylists dress her like an old woman. MONICA then comes out and blows the audience away with her version of some show tuney Ross song.

Randy yells “check it out” and then says Monica is good, but not at her best.

Paula cries but I’m not sure it’s the song or the drugs.

Simon says she made a bad song good. (+1)

SCORE: 3 for making Paula cry, three for getting all the judges to like her, and one for a Simon compliment. +7

CHRIS SLIGH gives “ENDLESS LOVE” a Coldplay kind of feel, which is very Chris Daughtry of him. The stylists have taken his glasses off, a plus for me.

Randy compliments his look, but hates the arrangement, calling it a mess.

Paula talks around the fact that she hated it.

Simon thought it was drone like and uninspiring.

SCORE: All three judges said it sucked -3, I’ll give him a point for Randy noticing the glasses were gone. -2

GINA GLOCKSEN is star struck with Miss Ross, whose face now appears so tight, I’m afraid it may spring out and injure one of the kids.

GINA does “Love Child”, which I remember my friend Rod never liked because his Dad left when he was three.

She looks good in her tight jeans, a sturdy woman she be! I think she does a great job with the song. But I liked John Stevens, so what do I know?

Randy utters a “Yo”, and calls it pitchy (BING -3) and weird (BING -2).

Paula didn’t like it either, but she’s coherent and doesn’t glad hand.

Simon calls it unremarkable, and calls it “middle-pack” (?)

SCORE: -5

SANJAYA (he really only needs one name now, doesn’t he?)

SANJAYA is the first to get hated on by Miss Ross, who is off the sauce, and cracks on his hair, which probably giving her 60’s flashbacks.

SANJAYA actually isn’t half bad, but his hair is all curly and weird and he moves in an odd Bollywood fashion.

Randy blasts him for sucking ass big time, but gives his hair props (+1).

Paula blasts him for being a wimp and not having balls.

Simon dislikes it but compliments him for being brave and gives his hair props (+1)

SCORE: All three judges hated on him (-3) but the hair compliments bring him to -1.

HALEY “Who?” SCARNATO is next, and I just noticed she’s kind of hot. Miss Ross says she’s got a recording studio voice as opposed to a live voice, whatever that means.

HALEY’S relaxed and belts out the Marvin Gaye death song “Missing You”. She’s better than all the guys, but that ain’t saying much. She mumbles a few of the words and the whole thing has a bad vibe to it. Let’s go the judges…

Randy says he’s shocked, but never really tells why.

Paula compliments her on her looks (+1) and her pitch (-3)

Simon remembers her name and says it wasn’t half bad. And then she cries. (+4)

SCORE: Simon liking her gets her a point, but she loses five for forgetting the words. -2

PHIL STACEY brings back memories for Miss Ross, but they are never spelled out. Good memories? Bad memories? PHIL is told to look at the audience because they are people. Okay.

PHIL goes out and sounds screechy singing “I’m going to make you love me”. Is it just me or are they intentionally saving the good boys for last? Judges? What do you think?

Randy asks what Phil thinks of his performance and then says his vocals were the boys best of the night (+5)

Paula is vague and odd.

Simon says it was a good choice of song. (+3)

TOTAL: What? +8? He out pointed Malinda? That’s so wrong.

LAKISHA JONES baffles Miss Ross with a question about where the mic stand should be. Miss Ross also refers to our Maryland sweetheart as “Kiki”. I’m not sure if that’s her nickname or if Miss Ross has been staying awake by snorting crystal meth backstage.

Our MISS JONES slays with her version of “God Bless The Child” from “Lady Sings The Blues”. And she looks resplendent in her white gown.

Randy says “check it out” twice before calling her sensational. One point for complimenting the gown.

Paula speaks but says nothing. I’ll say it was obvious to give Kiki another point.

Simon says Malinda and her are above the rest. It’s a compliment, and a point.

SCORE: +6 (Sorry, I tried to give her more points, but they weren’t there.)

BLAKEY “Mr. Turntable Mouth” LEWIS admits Michael Jackson is his favorite artist. This is a blatant attempt to suck up to Miss Ross. BLAKE’s going to beatbox a version of “You Keep Me Hanging On” (not the Kim Wilde version).

Wearing a yuppie meets Timberlake suit, BLAKE lives up to his promise, showing why he may be the only guy to advance past week six of the finals. He doesn’t do any wicky wick though.

Randy utters his first “dawg”, but the “check it out”s and the “know what I mean”s are killing me.

Paula thinks Blake is a good singer.

Simon didn’t get it, but then again he doesn’t know who the 311 are either. Bad news for Chris.

SCORE: 0

STEPHANIE EDWARDS has chosen “Love Hangover” which reminds of Donna, my ninth grade Homecoming date. Like all my high school loves, Donna just wanted to be “my friend”. I wanted fringe benefits. Oh well. Last time I saw Donna, she had six kids and her husband left her. Who’s hungover now?

Randy accuses Stephanie of missing words (-5), but gives her a good song choice plug (+3)

Paula goes off on some weird tangent about arrangements.

Simon explains it by saying she cut out the best part of the song.

SCORE: All three agree she stunk (-3), total is -5

CHRIS RICHARDSON now has the added pressure of trying to top Phil (?) as top guy of the night.

He goes with the least popular Diana Ross song ever, the 70’s disco piece of crap “The Boss”.

I’m rooting for him, but there’s no way to overcome that song choice, is there?

Randy starts in with a dawg and likes it a little.

Paula called it fun.

Simon didn’t like the vocals, and says people would switch the channels immediately.

SCORE: 0

Last but not least, it’s this year’s cute teen girl, JORDIN SPARKS, who is going with a song from the “Land before Time” (?).

She seems to have a lot of poise for a 17 year old. I think she’s moved past Stephanie into third place, but again, I thought Chris Sligh sounded good tonight.

Randy agrees with me! I don’t know if that’s a good thing.

Paula calls her “a breath of fresh air” which should be a scoring phrase next week.

Simon calls it gooey but agrees with the others that she’s a hottie.

SCORE: +4

What? Nobody did “Swept Away” or “I’m Coming Up”? That’s an affront to the 70’s!!!

Man of Action

If Locke is the "Man of Faith" and Jack the "Man of Science", then they should call Sayid, the "Man of Action". Everytime it's his turn to carry an episode, it delivers.

The Army of Three (Sayid, Kate and Locke) did some serious butt kicking last night, slogging through the farmhouse, taking names. So here are my talk points for episode 11:

What did Locke think would happen if he punched in the numbers letting weird film guy know that "Hostiles" were in the communications hatch? Did he think he'd get a prize? Geez, what a maroon.

Is there something on the island that shows you the past in the form of hallucination? Jack's dad leading him to water, Hurley's psycho friend leading him to the cliff, and now Sayid's cat leading him to save the Russian. And didn't Kate see some horse back in season one?

I kind of like Sawyer's nicknames, so the ping pong bet did nothing for me, outside of comic relief. I loved it when Sawyer turned to Nikki and said "who are you?" It was the same question I had when she popped up on the show. Apparently there is a Paolo and Nikki flashback coming soon.

I'm out of town for the long weekend, have fun and we'll see you next Wednesday on Channel 2.

Great LOST discussions are available here.

IDOL chicks

Sorry, due to flight delays and other things beyond my control, I could not score last night's IDOL (the ladies). I will make it up to you, someday, I swear.

IDOL scoring for tonight

BLAKE LEWIS: THROWS DOWN SOME 311 MIXED IN WITH SOME SNOW "INFORMER"

RANDY DOESN’T KNOW SONG…BONUS POINT

PAULA DOESN’T KNOW SONG… BONUS POINT

ALL THREE JUDGES LOVE HIM…PLUS FIVE

SIMON COMPLIMENTS HIM…PLUS ONE

BLAKE REVEALS HE HAS AN ALTER EGO NAMED JIMMY BOB OR SOMETHING…I SHOULD DOCK HIM POINTS FOR THIS, BUT I WON’T…

TOTAL: SIX, AS HE LOSES THE BONUS POINTS FOR GOING BEYOND AIR GUITAR INTO AIR SCRATCHING AN IMAGINARY TURNTABLE…

SANJAYA: BUTCHERS JOHN MAYER’S “WAITING ON THE WORLD TO CHANGE”

I DIDN’T THINK ANYONE COULD RUIN THIS SONG…I WAS WRONG…

BUT HE’S MY CONTESTANT, SO VOTE FOR HIM…

SANJAYA ALSO ADMITS HE KNOWS HOW TO HULA…THAT SHOULD ALSO COST HIM POINTS…BUT I CAN’T DO THAT, NOT TO SANJAYA, HE MIGHT CRY…

ALL THREE JUDGES HATE HIM…MINUS THREE

SIMON MAKES A POSITIVE REFERENCE TO HIS HAIR “MAYBE YOUR HAIR IS KEEPING YOU IN THE COMPETITION, I DON’T KNOW”…PLUS THREE

TOTAL: ZERO

SUNDANCE HEAD: MAKES ME VOMIT WITH A WRONG RENDERING OF “JEREMY” BY PEARL JAM…DOES THIS MEAN HE MAY COME BACK AND KILL THE JUDGES IF THEY DON’T LIKE HIM?

HE SAYS HE’S JUST WEARING A FAT SUIT AND THAT HE’S ACTUALLY SVELTE INSIDE…HE BETTER PULL OUT MR. THIN SOON, BECAUSE MR. FAT SUIT AIN’T GETTING IT DONE.

RANDY CALLS HIM PITCHY…MINUS THREE

PAULA IS VAGUE…ZERO POINTS

SIMON HATES SONG CHOICE AND COUGHS UP A BAR BAND REFERENCE…MINUS SIX

SORRY, SUNDANCE: MINUS NINE

RYAN ANNOUNCES THAT COUNTRY SINGER TRAVIS TRITT IS IN THE AUDIENCE, AND THAT RANDY IS PRODUCING HIS ALBUM…POOR GUY, HIS CAREER IS ALREADY ON THE ROCKS, AND NOW THIS…

CHRIS RICHARDSON: SINGS SOME WHINY KEITH URBAN SONG AND SUCKS BIG TIME…IT’S NOT ONLY WHINY, BUT IT SEEMS TO BE OFF KEY…

CHRIS REVEALS HE PLAYED COLLEGE FOOTBALL…AND LOST LOTS OF WEIGHT SINCE THEN…THIS STARTLING REVELATION ACTUALLY IMPRESSES NO ONE…EXCEPT RYAN…WHO SEEMS TO BE COMING ON TO HIM…

RANDY THINKS HE WAS GOOD…I’VE DECIDED TO ADD A POINT FOR GETTING A “IN IT TO WIN IT” CLICHÉ FROM RANDY…PLUS ONE…

PAULA GIVES HIM A GOOD SONG CHOICE…PLUS THREE

I’LL GIVE HIM A POINT FOR A VAGUE SIMON COMPLIMENT…PLUS ONE…

TOTAL: FIVE

JARET KOTTER: BLOWS OUT SOME REALLY OLD SCHOOL STEVIE WONDER…HE SCARES PEOPLE BY DANCING LIKE A WHITE GUY…OOPS, SURPRISE, HIS MOM IS WHITE AND THAT’S WHERE HE GETS HIS MOVES FROM…

JARET BECOMES THE SECOND COLLEGE ATHLETE TO BE OUTED TONIGHT…HE’S A HOOPSTER, BUT QUALIFIES IT WITH A “DIVISION 2” COMMENT WHICH MOST OF AMERICA DOESN’T UNDERSTAND…

IF RANDY SAYS “JOINT” ONE MORE TIME, I’M GOING TO LIGHT ONE UP…

JARET’S PERFORMANCE IS SO LAME, NONE OF THE JUDGES SAY ANYTHING THAT SCORES, WHICH IS WORTH A POINT ON ITS OWN…

TOTAL: ZERO, AS THE POINT IS TAKEN AWAY BY HIS DANCING…

RYAN TALKS TO PHIL AND BRANDON WHO HAVE APPARENTLY BEEN ATTENDING PAULA’S SCHOOL OF TALKING FOR A LONG TIME AND SAYING NOTHING…

BRANDON ROGERS: THROWS DOWN SOME “CELEBRATE” BY RARE EARTH, THE ONLY WHITE BAND THAT RECORDED ON MOTOWN…HOW’S THAT FOR TRIVIA…

RANDY GIVES BRANDON A “GOOD SONG CHOICE” PEG…PLUS THREE

PAULA TALKS AND SAYS NOTHING…

SIMON TAKES HIS POINTS AWAY BY SAYING THE SONG WAS A BAD IDEA AND MAY GET HIM TOSSED…MINUS THREE

TOTAL: ZERO

PHIL STACEY: SINGS LEE ANN RIMES’ “I NEED YOU” AND MOST OF THE AUDIENCE LEAVES TO THROW UP…NOT ONLY BECAUSE HE RUINS THE SONG, BUT BECAUSE HIS HAT IS SO UGLY…AND RANDON…

PHIL IMPRESSES AMERICA WITH THE FACT THAT HE SHAVES HIS HEAD JUST FOR THE FUN OF IT…A LA JOJO…

RANDY SAYS IT’S PITCHY, MINUS THREE

PAULA DOESN’T LIKE THE SONG CHOICE, MINUS THREE

SIMON CALLS THE WHOLE THING “INSANE” AND MAKES A NEGATIVE COMMENT ABOUT HIS EYES…MINUS SIX

TOTAL: MINUS TWELVE

CHRIS SLIGH: IMPRESSES ME AGAIN BY PULLING OUT A GREAT SONG THAT ISN’T WELL KNOWN, “WE ARE BORN TO BE LOVED”

CHRIS ALSO REVEALS A FUN HAIR FACT, HE WAS ONCE BALD!!

RANDY DOESN’T LIKE THE SONG CHOICE, MINUS THREE

PAULA IS CONFUSED BY GOOD MUSIC AND IT RENDERS HER POWERLESS…

SIMON DIDN’T MIND IT ALL THAT MUCH, BUT HE’S DISAPPOINTED BY THE SONG, MINUS THREE…

TOTAL: MINUS SIX